Here's one of the stories; hat tips to madfilkentist, who first pointed me at the story, and to hitchhiker, who then pointed me to the (in hindsight, obvious) place to go with it. (And yes, I know mosquitoes aren't technically bugs. Call it artistic license.) (Oh, and this version makes clear little, if any, SDI tech was involved. So, more artistic license. Though a new version of "Do It Yourself" may be in order...)

EXPIRE IN THE SKY
Words: (c) 2009 Joseph Abbott
Music: "Fire in the Sky," Jordin Kare, bridge by Kristoph Klover

Prometheus, they say, brought God's fire down to man
And we've caught it — tamed it — trained it — to kill all the pests we can
Now we're going after 'skeeters just to zap them in the eye
Torn asunder 'cross the land, bugs expire in the sky

Well, they put us skunks to work back in 1981
"If you want to shoot down nukes," we said, "you'll need a bigger gun"
We could tell you if we did it, but then you'd have to die
But now we're working for a charity, shooting bugs down from the sky

I dreamed last night
Of a little boy's first bug bite
Swelled over me
Know all too well how itchy it could be
I want mosquitoes to fry
I'll pursue them till I die
Make them expire in the sky
Expire in the sky!

Now the future's up to us -- there's mosquitoes to be slain
As we turn our lasers skyward and watch bug bits fall like rain
Send the word to all bloodsuckers: Time for you to say goodbye
'Cause we're gonna clear the lot with a Zapper Turned on High
Not much longer till you die!
You'll expire in the sky!
Expire in the Sky!

Spoken: FOOLS! WE WILL DESTROY YOU ALL! -- Ask us how!

(Special note to quadrivium: Please consider this a submission for the GaFilk songbook...)

THE PRISONER
Words: (c) 2008 Joseph Abbott
Music: "The Boxer," Simon and Garfunkel

( I am not a number, but my story's often told... )

(Keeping in mind that this was written for a different election, more evenly split (evenly enough to make a mockery of the "One Day More" theme) and with not so much enthusiasm for either candidate...)

CANDIDATE: One day more!
           Election Day decides my destiny:
           A footnote or a book of history
           This summit that I've come to climb
           Will not be there a second time
( One day more... )

Cooper, tell us
Why for storms you have gotten so zealous
Put the windscreen on your mike
Cov'ring Gustav and Hanna and Ike

(TTTO "Alma," Tom Lehrer)

Like happy bunnies in a clover field
They're dancing to the health of good old Rob
For partying no second will they yield
'Cause he's set to head Japanward for a job
But the quake and tanker blast left them perplexed
And shocked when Lady Liberty was next...

With her head stuck on a New York street
Careering off the tower
With her head stuck on a New York street
In the midnight hour
It's all across the Internet, look how the traffic grows
They shot it with their cell phones, you've seen the videos
With her spike stuck through a car roof and a lamppost up her nose
And her head stuck on a New York street

Who else is going?

Not particularly a spoiler for anything, unless I missed a detail.

( I'm sorry it went down like this, your memory you'll lose... )

Weather-related.

( Set your hammer down... )

Back at work after a weekend at Conestoga in Tulsa. They went and developed a music track while I wasn't looking! lukeski and ericcoleman had concert sets, as did Cedric of the Bedlam Bards and a group called Queen's Gambit. I missed the Friday night filk (hadn't even thought there would be one -- there wasn't the last time they had a Harry Potter book release at the con) but the Saturday filk was well attended, and fun.

Unsettling story from the seeing-false-patterns-in-white-noise department: The night I was leaving Tulsa, a first-base coach from the Tulsa minor-league team was hit by a line drive and killed while his team was playing the Arkansas Travelers less than half an hour away from my family's home.

I'm currently midway through Chapter 5 in That Book, all of which was done on the ride down from the con to DFW with decoy01 and tmc4242. After the drive from the to Waco I was sufficiently wiped that I pretty much went straight to bed. Haven't read any more yet because I did not wish to be late for work...

Words: (c) 2006 Joseph Abbott
Music: "Rattlin' Bog," traditional

( As you'd expect from using that tune, this one goes long... )

If you go down to the pond today
You're in for a bad surprise
If you go down to the pond today
You'll want to avert your eyes
For every trout that used to swim there
Is floating up, exposed to the air --
Today's the day the teddy bears all go fishing

As it turns out, there's another reason to celebrate today: It's Hermione Granger's birthday.

Of course, if you're Tom Smith, you could do both...

(P.S.: Just noticed that they've changed the "Update Journal" button to "Update Captain's Log" for today...)

Cross posting to filk, texasfilk

( This one's creepier than I usually do... )

(cross-posting to texasfilk, filk)

TTTO: "Leaving on a Jet Plane," John Denver

I'm heading out to see a friend
On this flight that never seems to end
Going to L.A. to have some fun
Across the aisle, a bald black man
Turns to give the plane a scan
And I can't help but noticing his gun

Ah, stewardess? Excuse me, miss?
I think that I just heard a hiss
Does anyone know herpetology?
'Cause there's snakes here on this jet plane
I don't know when they'll attack again
Oh, God, don't let me die

Went to the doctor yesterday; he couldn't find anything wrong with me and even the blip on the EKG vanished, but I was still having some shortness of breath. The current theory is anxiety, so I now have a prescription for low-dosage Celexa (actually the generic version thereof). Having taken it a couple of days now, I remember why I took it at night when I was on it for depression some years back -- a couple of hours after I take it, it's naptime. So tomorrow instead of taking it in the morning I'll take it in the evening after I come home. The shortness of breath is still there, but not as much as previously. Thanks to everyone who wished me well...

We broke our string of 100-degree days; Thursday only got up to 99, and Saturday only to 98. Friday, though, got up to 101, and today it was 100. So we're 10 for the last 12 on 100-degree days (and the weekend was when it was supposed to cool off to the low 90s).

Dinsdale is looking up at me and meowing, probably for attention. He's doing pretty well, as near as I can tell, though he's due back at the vet's for a checkup sometime this week.

I have a showstopper -- one verse and chorus -- I'm preparing for Conestoga next weekend. I've been dithering about whether to post it or leave it entirely a surprise, but there's only a couple of people I can think of offhand who'll be there who read my journal, so I'll probably post it in a bit. I certainly hope the drive to and from Tulsa is cooler than the drive to/from OKC was last weekend -- OKC has been having even worse heat than Waco (isn't it supposed to get cooler as you go farther north?).

(ttto: "Happy Holidays," Irving Berlin)

Happy holidays, happy holidays
'Cause there's more than one involved here
Some for many, some for few

Happy holidays, happy holidays
May all discord be resolved here
Happy holidays to you

I finally managed to finish a song...

EARTH-THAT-WAS
Words and music: Joseph Abbott
Based on "Firefly" created by Joss Whedon

She was beautiful and tattered
She was innocent and worn
And we knew she'd always be there, and we knew her time was near
She was everything that mattered
From the time that we were born
To the time that we abandoned her to die

CHORUS: And though we never saw her
We still shape them in her image
We see her ghost, see everything it does
And though we never knew her
We still know that she was ours
We still dream of Earth-That-Was

From Osiris out to Paquin
From Greenleaf to New Hall
A hundred worlds all haunted by the memory of one
From Persephone to Sihnon
Londinium to Whitefall
Wherever humankind has made its home
CHORUS

And still we blast and dig and cut and burn
We remember our first home... but have we learned?
CHORUS x 2

Do you remember Mal Reynolds?
Do you remember Jayne?
Could you picture them selling tickets
To the Reavers standing over
The body on the plain (well, actually, I could picture Jayne doing that...)
Did you understand the contract, Saffron
Or was it all in vain?

(More complete (different) Firefly filk to follow...)