While the game should work fine on most systems that meet the minimum hardware specifications, it has NOT been tested with laptop systems and therefore we can NOT guarantee compatibility. Due to the wide variety of hardware configurations that ship with today's laptop systems, it would be impossible to configure a game that would work with all of them. Many laptops are limited in their ability to be used as a gaming machine because of memory configurations, their microchannel architecture, port configurations (i.e. no place for a joystick) and sound systems primarily designed to be used with productivity software. Laptop systems will attempt to compress the traditional version of the standard 101-function keyboard (found on almost all desktop systems) into a much smaller key configuration. This is usually done by relying on multi-function keys that allow the user to assign different functions to the same key. Unfortunately, this has been known to cause problems with our games.
I'm not trying to use a joystick -- keyboard's fine for me. Not using any of the multifunction keys. It works just fine up to that one point, three chapters in. But apparently because I have a mere laptop, I am not worthy of assistance, only dismissal.
Right.